been in bed all day flu !!! feel bad, all i can think of at moment is nikki and 20th im going to see drs cos i ent coping well now, i know il crack if i dont get help, whats wrong with me im meant to be tough? dont know how the hell other pple cope cos i cant, i owe it to lauren not to just give up n wallow in self pity but i cant help how i feel. it would be nice if i had family or someone to talk to but who wants to listen to morbid sad depressive stuff ? i know iv got friends but i feel totally on my own n i could stay in bed 4 the rest o my life if i could cos dont feel like doin anything, i say get a grip rich but iv let go so the grip is not there sorry nic but its hard.. love you bab xxx 4eva.