nicola louise watkiss 19~02~83 ~ 20~12~2008. our 1st born daughter nicola was born in wolverhampton, i desperately wanted a girl after 2 boys and got my wish in 83 with nicola, i adored her and spoilt her, beau was born year later and family complete. nikki grew into a gorgeous girl in all ways. i moved to bewdley in 1996 and nic would come over all while as all kids do DAD lend me £20 and every time id moan but she knew she could twist me round her little finger, if the lads wanted n e thing they would send nikki as they knew id say yes to her.then in 2001 her little sister lauren was born n me n nikki both wanted it to be a girl julie wanted a boy, we were delighted wen told it was going to be a girl and nikki was with me and her mum at 2.24am when lauren made her appearance and me n nikki were 1st to hold her n we even nicked the gas n air off julie lol typical !! the last few years her asthma got worse and she was in n out of hospital, she was even on same ward as me 2yrs ago but discharged herself as soon as i was discharged. typical nikki. the last day of her brief life she came to see me and again borrowed £20, she came down pub to me and didn look well i wish id have known how ill she was i could have got her to hospital and who knows ?? at 3.30am i took her nebuliser in to her and told her and beau to keep the noise down. id just got to sleep at @ 5am and nikki banged on my bedroom door n asked me to get an ambulance, we did and i went back to bed as this happened all the while, at @ 8am i was woken up by my mrs n her sister saying police here and nikki was dead, i was in shock as i expected her home in a day or 2 as was usual, police were all over the house, i sent my wife and lauren over wolves to her sisters and then went to the hospital to ID my girls body it was like a dream, i was in shock, the tubes were still down her throat n nose etc, my brother chris was with me or i might have gone completely mad. i went home in a dream, i went to the undertakers with nita and amy friends of nikki to put her make up on n make her look nice, god that was hard. At the funeral pple came from all over black and white, this tune changes was played as well as No More Pain by mary j blige. we raised money for kemp hospice n said our goodbyes to a beautiful girl who was cruelly taken from us, if only i had known she was so ill?? my sons david, carl, beau and 3 black friends grizzle n marcus n trevor anderson carried the coffin and even buried her as they didn want strangers doing it, a bottle o jack daniels a few smokes were buried with her and my beautiful girl was lost to us 4ever. we cry we argue n we will never get over the pain of u leaving us. we will always love you n miss u terribly. nikki xxxxxx we will never 4get you. The tears in our eyes we can wipe away, but the tears in our hearts will 4ever stay. i would give my life now to have you back for just a day. my heart aches for another hug, u always used to say come on dad give me a proper hug, you had plenty of love to give. im sorry if i ever let you down in life which im sure i did. we will be together 1 day. til then sweet dreams my darling xxxxxx nikki 19.02.1983 ~ 20.12.2008 nearly a year n i wont be celebrating xmas i will try for lauren but its going to be a hard hard time for me personally and i know il be upset. love you babes 4ever xxxxxx DAD. Certain pple know they did wrong to you n i promise they will pay, iv lost a daughter i adored n they are walking the streets tho keeping well clear of me n they had better hope i dont bump into them ever. i tend ur grave 3 times a week n often go late at night just to be near you i will never recover from this it has broken my heart. i also know ur brothers n ur sister n ur mum are suffering but not outwardly showing it like i do but they r still suffering i just hope we dont totally self destruct, God help us and God keep you safe til we meet again. xxx